Setting Clear Expectations: A Guide to Establishing Guidelines with Your Domestic Helper

Having a domestic helper will definitely help improve your day-to-day life if you need help with childcare, elderly care, food preparation, house cleaning, or anything that pertains to running the house smoothly.

Nevertheless, no matter how experienced a domestic helper is, he or she always needs time to adjust to the household’s routines, customs, and preferences. Something that one household takes for granted could very well be a foreign concept to someone else.

For this reason, establishing clear expectations is absolutely essential. Once your domestic helper is aware of how he or she should perform certain tasks as well as the appropriate times to do so, he or she will likely develop respect and appreciation for your household.

Why Setting Clear Guidelines Matters

The role of the domestic helper is not just about performing an occupation but also about adapting to a new home environment, a new family, and even a new culture or country.

Guidelines ensure that there will be mutual understanding between the employer and the helper. Also, the establishment of guidelines allows creating an appropriate framework for work, interaction, rest, and house policies.

If you are about to make some guidelines for domestic helper onboarding, you should remember to make them easy and realistic so that the domestic helper does not get confused.

What Should You Discuss With Your Domestic Helper?

Before your helper starts her daily routine, sit down and walk her through the important things she needs to know.

Start With a Simple Orientation

This period is crucial. Don’t assume that your helper will know everything on the spot, but take some time to teach her what to do step by step around the house.

Introduce her to all household locations, appliances, detergents, and duties.

For instance, in case you hire a helper to look after your baby, demonstrate how you wash and sterilise his/her bottles, keep diapers, carry a baby, and soothe crying.

In case you have an elderly relative to look after, make sure to tell them about his/her movements, favourite meals, necessary medications, etc.

Create a Written Task List

Instructions given verbally are likely to be forgotten because your helper is just learning how to do everything. Your helper can use the written tasks list for guidance when she gets lost.

It doesn’t have to be anything difficult. Just create a daily, weekly, and monthly checklist.

Simple Daily Task List

This also helps your helper understand which tasks are urgent and which tasks can be done later.

Be Clear About Priorities

A common mistake many employers make is expecting that everything will be perfect every single day.

The truth is, one individual cannot juggle babysitting, caring for the elderly, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and running errands all at once without having things prioritised.

Therefore, it would help if you had priorities and let your helper know about them.

This can include:

• In case there is a baby in the house, baby safety and feeding take precedence over floor mopping.
• In case there is an elderly person in the house, their medication reminders and mobility assistance need to be prioritised over ironing.
• When both parents are at work, preparing dinner and picking up the children might come first before cleaning the place.

Prioritising can help your helper to choose the right tasks amid a hectic schedule.

Set House Rules Early

Each family will have its own set of expectations at home. There will be some employers who will be concerned with hygiene, while others will be concerned with privacy, cooking, and other related matters.

It is always better to make the house rules clear from the beginning than to correct your helper only when mistakes happen.

For example, there is a need for clarifying such things as:

• What rooms are off limits
• Whether she can call or text during working hours
• How she should store the food
• Which things can she not touch
• What she is expected to do during visits
• What should she do in case of an emergency
• If she has to tell you when she leaves for a break during the day

With clear house rules, your helper will avoid many misunderstandings and doubts.

Respect Rest Days And Well-Being

A good working relationship must also be based on recognising the resting period of your helper.

For example, in Singapore, foreign helpers are supposed to have resting periods, and you need to arrange a discussion with your helper on matters pertaining to the same. Some issues for discussion include finding out the resting day, departure, arrival, and any other issues that might arise in case of an alteration of plans.

It is worth noting that when employing a domestic helper in Singapore, you should know that the right rest, respect in communication, and good working conditions can improve employer-helper relations.

Communicate Regularly, Not Only When There is a Problem

Establishing expectations is not an exercise that happens once. Your helper might require reminders, advice, and encouragement as she adapts to your household.

Make sure you have periodic discussions, particularly in the initial weeks.

You can inquire:

• “Have you understood the process?”
• “Is there anything you do not understand?”
• “Do you require me to demonstrate it to you?”
• “Is your workload feasible?”
• “Do you have any questions?”

Maintaining communication will ensure that minor misunderstandings are ironed out before they become major problems.

Give Feedback in a Clear and Respectful Way

Mistakes are bound to happen, especially at the start. Your method of delivering feedback will influence your helper’s response and progress.

Do not ask, “Why do you always make this mistake?”, but rather ask:

“For next time, please do this process of washing the baby bottles since we wish to keep them sterilised.”

Do not criticise her by saying, “You are so slow,” but rather say:

“Perhaps, let’s try this process where we could get our morning chores done efficiently.”

Be Patient With Cultural And Language Differences

Many of these helpers came from many different cultures and nations, and they might differ in their mannerisms and customs, such as eating and feeding, communicating, or even taking care of children.

It does not imply that they do not want to learn; it merely implies that it may take some time for them to adapt.

To facilitate effective communication, you may try using plain language, showing her how things are done, and confirming whether she is following your instructions.

What to do If There is a Misunderstanding

In case of any problems, do not just act out of frustration; take some time to analyse what is going on and ask yourself the following questions:

• Is the instruction clear enough?
• Does she understand the priority?
• Is this task done before? 
• Is there too many tasks to complete in one day?
• Is this an exception to the rule or a regular pattern?

Finally, approach your helper calmly and tell her how to fix the situation.

In case problems persist, consider getting some tips from your helper agency, as it might come in handy in such situations.

How Bliss Helper Supports Employers and Helpers

Choosing the right domestic helper is just the start of the process. Assisting your helper in settling down at your place is equally significant.

At Bliss Helper, we provide assistance to families during the hiring process of domestic helpers with tailored helper biodata, verified helpers, interviews via video call, documentations online, and 2 years of WhatsApp assistance on general inquiries post-hiring.

Should you require any information related to a domestic helper agency in Singapore, you can approach us for any guidance, and we shall assist you accordingly.

Final Thoughts

Establishing expectations with your domestic helper does not imply that you have to be harsh and authoritative with her. No, it is important to provide her with the instructions she requires to perform her duties efficiently and gain more confidence in your house.

When you create a clear schedule, engage in polite conversations, and establish reasonable expectations, you will find it easier to interact with your helper.

Need help finding a domestic helper in Singapore? The services offered by Bliss Helper will assist you in finding suitable helpers for your family.

FAQs

How do I set expectations with my domestic helper?

Begin by discussing clearly about her responsibilities, daily schedule, rules at home, planning for rest days, and what the family prefers. It is also useful to make a checklist in writing to guide her.

What should I include in a domestic helper task list?

The checklist can contain chores for the day, cooking, childcare responsibilities, elderly care, laundry, cleaning schedules, and even instructions during emergencies. Make sure that the chores are segregated according to the days or months the tasks need to be done.

How long does a new helper need to adjust?

Each helper differs. Some will be able to adjust in a couple of weeks, while there are those who take months. Sometimes, if the helper comes from another country like Singapore, adjustment may take some time.

Should I give my helper a written schedule?

Yes, a written schedule would be useful here, as it helps avoid any confusion and provides the helper with a regular schedule that is easier for her to remember. Changes can always be made in the schedule later on if needed.

How do I correct my helper without making her feel bad?

Speak in a straightforward manner, but without harshness. Tell your helper what exactly you are dissatisfied with and what the right thing to do is. Do not use anger to show your dissatisfaction because it might make her scared.

What should I do if my helper keeps forgetting instructions?

Try using checklists, labels or even pictures and instructions. Repeat the demonstration to her and ask her to do the job again yourself to see whether she got your point.

Can I ask my helper to work on her rest day?

This needs to be made very clear and understood. In Singapore, the employer should abide by the MOM guidelines about rest days and compensation. If you are not sure about anything, please refer to the MOM requirements for clarification.

Why is communication important when managing a helper?

Effective communication avoids confusion. It will also make your maid more comfortable about approaching you for assistance or other information.

What if my helper and I have different ways of doing things?

That’s alright. Just let her know how you would like the task done and show her if necessary. However, do not hesitate to get acquainted with her previous experiences. It will be more effective to listen to what she thinks than assume that she knows everything about cleaning tasks.

Can a maid agency help if there is a misunderstanding?

Yes. By hiring a maid agency, both the employer and the helper will benefit from guidance as well as mediation when they are unable to communicate effectively.